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photo by futhark
I’m curious about the idea of privacy in marriage, specifically concerning the personal journal… Join the conversation and answer the poll question below (singles can chime in by answering “will you ever share your journals with your significant other?”):
During engagement, my wife and I had a conversation about our journals… specifically the idea of sharing them with each other, or at least it being open to the idea of giving each other unfettered access… It was a good conversation but we remained undecided at that point, I think mainly because the journals where not within reach, and it wasn’t a reality we had to face.
Fast forward to this week, we are now married and have access to each others stuff, in particular, our vast collection of journals spanning the last two decades. Since this is now our reality – the conversation came up again… You see, I was trying to prove to my wife that she was the muse for a sonnet I wrote 8 years ago (chuckling is appropriate)… And as I began digging through my journals to prove that my muse was the sun and not the moon (yes, a Shakespearean reference), I stumbled upon some other entries that I thought would be better kept between me and the God.
Which made me think about the idea of unfettered access to my innermost thoughts, which on occasion are written in times of high emotion, and for the direct purpose of filtering my thoughts on paper so that I do not offend those in my peripheral. Also there are a bunch of very intimate conversations with God, as I write out prayers in my journal from time to time – prayers that would be censored if I were to try for a PG rating.
So. Since, I was struggling with what to do with this “journal sharing” question… I asked the masses, posing the following question on Twitter, “Married folks poll question: does your significant have full access to your journal(s)?“
Here are some of the responses:
I’m still ruminating on this one, though I like Kretzu’s ponderance on the subject — not an overnight thing but one that will come as we “build trust, communication and space.”
That, my friend, is good advice.
No Comments on "is your journal private?"
Hey, I think if you want to flip through your own journals and share tidbits with each other, that's probably a great way to build intimacy (in your case with the sonnets. tee hee). I'm just not sure that unlimited access is wise.
There will likely be days when you write about how ticked you are with your spouse about this or that, or you're wondering what your life would've turned out like if you'd chosen a different path, etc….writing it down gets the emotions out for you and clears your headspace, but if your spouse were to read those words, it may kick off a whole new reason to argue. I'm just sayin'…
I journaled prior to matt. There came a time before we met that I decided to journal 'to my future hubby.' When we married, I gave that journal to him. The others I still have but haven't offered for them to become 'bathroom reading material.' The thougts inside the 'pre matt' phase of life probably wouldn't grow our marriage so I don't offer.
But once we married, I thought it a good idea if we kept a journal for eachother. We'd write what was on our hearts, what we were going through, what life is like et cetera. Then on our anniversary we'd switch and get to read the other's thoughts. It was cool to see what the other person was thinking/praying during a time in our marriage.
Fast forward almost 8 years and two kids. We don't journal anymore, we find ourselves hashing life and challenges out more in words and for me… a blog.
WOW! Me and Evans were wondering if we could get some journals?
next time I'd like to know when somebody uses one of my photos in his website…
My apologies… I can take it off if you'd like.
no, it's ok
ok… great! i think it's a fantastic pic. and will make sure i contact you if i ever snag a photo of yours again!